Endless Hostilities
Peter Gregg Slater
Things hate me. Ordinary things. All of them.
Jars, lids, bottles, boxes, cans, canisters,
capsules, pencils, pens, batteries, bolts,
nuts, screws, hooks, cord, wire, tape, rope,
joining with their innumerable siblings
In a grand conspiracy to tangle and snag,
crack and rip, tip and topple,
tumble and roll, crash and smash.
Things are cruel.
Won’t open, won’t close,
won’t go in, won’t come out,
won’t stay on, won’t come off.
Masters of head games.
Wander, hide, vanish.
Here now, gone in a flash.
Elusive guerilla warriors.
Most fortunately things don’t speak,
angrily calling me out for
Kicking the can down the road
Grabbing the short end of the stick
Pulling the plug
Scraping the bottom of the barrel
Hitting the nail on the head
Dropping the ball
Squeezing a penny
Stopping on a dime
Stopping a bullet
Stirring the pot
Clutching at straws
Pushing the envelope
Kicking the tires
Chewing the scenery
Shivering my timbers.
What goes around comes around.
I get it.
Jars, lids, bottles, boxes, cans, canisters,
capsules, pencils, pens, batteries, bolts,
nuts, screws, hooks, cord, wire, tape, rope,
joining with their innumerable siblings
In a grand conspiracy to tangle and snag,
crack and rip, tip and topple,
tumble and roll, crash and smash.
Things are cruel.
Won’t open, won’t close,
won’t go in, won’t come out,
won’t stay on, won’t come off.
Masters of head games.
Wander, hide, vanish.
Here now, gone in a flash.
Elusive guerilla warriors.
Most fortunately things don’t speak,
angrily calling me out for
Kicking the can down the road
Grabbing the short end of the stick
Pulling the plug
Scraping the bottom of the barrel
Hitting the nail on the head
Dropping the ball
Squeezing a penny
Stopping on a dime
Stopping a bullet
Stirring the pot
Clutching at straws
Pushing the envelope
Kicking the tires
Chewing the scenery
Shivering my timbers.
What goes around comes around.
I get it.
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Peter Gregg Slater, a historian, has taught at several institutions, including Dartmouth College and the University of California, Berkeley. In retirement, he is devoting himself to creative writing. His poetry, fiction, parody, satire, and creative non-fiction have appeared in DASH, Workers Write!, The Satirist, Masque & Spectacle, and Defenestration.
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